Friday, November 2, 2007

YOUR WIFE SUES YOU FOR DIVORCE AND TAKES THE HOUSE…
YOU LOSE YOUR JOB…
SOMBODY STEALS YOUR CAR…
AND THEN YOU FIND OUT…YOUR KIDS ARE ON DRUGS…
AT THAT MOMENT OF UTTER DISPAIR…YOU LOOK UP TO THE SKY AND YELL OUT AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS…
”WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG???”
THEN IT STARTS TO RAIN…
NOW YOU KNOW HOW THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS FEEL…
LASTNIGHT THEY WERE SHUTOUT 3-0 BY THE NASHVILLE PREDATORS…
THE TEAM WITH THE WORST ROAD RECORD IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
THE CANUCKS HAVE NOW LOST 6 OF THEIR FIRST 7 GAMES AT HOME…
NOT ONLY DO THEY NOW OWN THE WORST HOME RECORD IN THE NHL…
THIS IS ALSO THE WORST START AT HOME…IN THE HISTORY OF THE FRANCHISE…
NOW THE BAD NEWS…
KEVIN BIEKSA SUFFERED A DEEP CUT IN HIS CALF MUSCLE AND IS GONE FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS…
SAMI SALO TOOK AT A PUCK IN THE FACE…HE WILL NEED SURGERY…THERE’S NO WORD ON HOW LONG SALO IS GONE…
LUC BOURDON HAS ALREADY BEEN CALLED UP…
HERE’S THE PART WHERE THINGS GETS UGLY…
LASTNIGHT ROBERTO LUONGO LET IN TWO GOALS ON THE FIRST TWO SHOTS HE FACED…
THAT’S WHEN THE BOO BIRDS ARRIVED…
THE FANS IN THIS CITY ARE NOT SAYING “LOU”…THEY’RE SAYING…”BOO”…
BY THE END OF THE NIGHT…HEAD COACH ALAIN VIGNEAULT WAS SO DESPERATE HE BROKE UP THE SEDINS…
IN THE THIRD PERIOD THE CANUCKS ROLLED OUT A LINE OF…GET THIS…
NASLUND…ISBISTER AND HENRIK SEDIN…
THINGS ARE NOT GOING TO GET ANY BETTER ANY TIME SOON…
NOVEMBER IS A STEADY DIET OF…COLROADO…CALGARY…ANAHEIM AND MINNESOTA…
IT’S A GOOD THING THERE’S A ROOF ON GM PLACE…BECAUSE IT’S GOING TO RAIN A LOT ON THE CANUCKS THIS SEASON…

Thursday, November 1, 2007

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A STOPPABLE FORCE…MEETS MOVABLE OBJECT???
WE ARE ABOUT TO FIND OUT TONIGHT AT GM PLACE…
THE CANUCKS HAVE LOST 5 OF THEIR FIRST 6 HOME GAMES…THE WORST “HOME RECORD” IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
THEY MEET THE NASHVILLE PREDATORS…A TEAM THAT HAS LOST ALL 5 GAMES THEY’VE PLAYED ON THE ROAD…
THE WORST “AWAY RECORD” IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE…
WITH THE PREDATORS…IT’S UNDERSTANDABLE…
THE TEAM IS FOR SALE AND OVER THE SUMMER OWNERSHIP GUTTED THE ROSTER…
THE ISSUE WITH THE CANUCKS IS JUST AS SIMPLE…
THE CANUCKS HAVE FORGOTTEN WHO THEY ARE…
SOMEHOW BETWEEN THE END OF LAST SEASON AND THE START OF THIS SEASON THE PLAYERS IN THAT DRESSING ROOM GOT THE IDEA THAT THEY COULD WIN BY SHOWING UP…
TREVOR LINDEN PUT IT BEST THIS WEEK WHEN HE STATED…”WE’VE GONE IN THE WRONG DIRECTION”…
THAT MAY BE THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR…
NOW COMES THE CHALLENGE OF TURNING THIS SHIP AROUND…
THE FEAR CANUCK FANS HAVE…IS…THE SHIP THEIR WATCHING IS THE EXXON VALDEZ…
TO BEGIN WITH THE TEAM HAS BEEN DEALING WITH HEALTH ISSUES SINCE THE START OF TRAINING CAMP…
MISSING TONIGHT WILL BE…
JEFF COWAN…LUKAS KRAJICEK…RICK RYPIEN AND PERHAPS…WILLIE MITCHEL…
BUT AT THIS TIME OF THE SEASON…FANS ARE NOT LOOKING FOR EXCUSES…THEY ARE LOOKING FOR ANSWERS…
UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NO ONE SINGLE ASPECT OF THE GAME THE CANUCKS HAVE TO IMPROVE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM…
THEY ARE AVERAGING THE FEWEST SHOTS ON GOAL IN THE NHL…
THEIR FACE OFF PERCENTAGE IS THE LOWEST IN THE NHL…
AND THEIR PENALTY KILL IS 21ST OVER ALL…
LAST SEASON…THE CANUCKS HAD THE BEST PENALTY KILL IN THE LEAGUE…
IT DOES NOT HELP THAT GOALTENDER ROBERTO LUONGO IS NOT PLAYING LIKE…ROBERTO LUONGO…
HIS GOALS AGAINST AVERAGE IS NOW 2.92…
OF THE 30 STARTING GOALTENDERS IN THE NHL…LUONGO RANKS…25TH…
NOW THE GOOD NEWS…NASHVILLE HAS THE WORST RECORD IN THE ENTIRE WESTERN CONFERENCE…
IF THERE WAS EVER A TIME TO TURN THINGS AROUND…TONIGHT’S THE NIGHT…