Monday, May 31, 2010

Stanley Cup Ratings

THE STANLEY CUP FINALS ARE A HIT…
ON SATURDAY NIGHT…GAME 1 ON NBC…DREW A 6 SHARE…
THE BEST NUMBERS IN THE U.S…FOR AN OPENING GAME OF THE FINALS…SINCE 1999…
AND ARE 12 PERCENT HIGHER THAN GAME 1 LAST YEAR BETWEEN DETROIT AND PITTSBURGH…
CHICAGO LED THE WAY WITH A 35 SHARE…WHILE PHILADELPHIA PULLED A VERY RESPECTABLE 25 SHARE…
GAME ONE ALSO HAD STAR POWER…
IN THE CROWD…VINCE VAUGHN…TONY LA RUSSA…AND REX RYAN…
TONIGHT FOR GAME 2…JOHN CUSACK AND JEREMY PIVEN ARE EXPECTED TO ATTEND…
IN THE MEANTIME…THE TAMPA BAY RAYS HAVE CAUGHT THE FEVER…
ON SUNDAY THE RAYS FLEW INTO TORONTO TO TAKE ON THE BLUE JAYS…
THEY ARRIVED WEARING BLACK HAWK JERSEYS…WHICH WERE SUPPLIED BY CHICAGO…
IT WAS THE IDEA OF TAMPA BAY MANAGER JOE MADDON…WHO GREW UP AS A ST. LOUIS BLUES FAN…BUT IS NOW CLEARLY PULLING FOR THE HAWKS…
IN THE WORDS OF MADDON…”IT’S COOL”…
BUT WHAT IS REALLY “COOL” WAS THE ENTERTAINMENT VALUE OF GAME ONE ON SATURDAY NIGHT…
TOMAS KOPECKY SCORED MIDWAY THROUGH THE 3RD PERIOD TO GIVE THE HAWKS A 6-5 VICTORY…
11 GOALS…COUNT ‘EM…11 GOALS…
DEFENCE MAY WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS…BUT OFFENCE STILL DRIVES RATINGS…
IT’S NOT LIKE THE NHL HAS NOT SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE…
THERE WAS GRETZKY IN L.A. AND MESSIER IN NEW YORK…
BUT IN THE LIGHT OF THE ECONOMIC MESS THE NHL IS DEALING WITH IN CITIES LIKE…
PHOENIX…NASHVILLE…ATLANTA…FLORIDA…AND DALLAS…TO NAME A FEW…
A GREAT STANLEY CUP FINAL…IN TWO GREAT HOCKEY MARKETS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE LEAGUE AND COMMISSIONER GARY BETTMAN HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR…
ON FRIDAY BETTMAN ONCE AGAIN INSISTED...”THE MARKET IS NOT FLOODED” WITH TEAMS FOR SALE…
KEEP IN MIND THOUGH…THIS IS THE SAME GARY BETTMAN WHO TOLD US A YEAR AGO…THERE WERE NO PROBLEMS IN PHOENIX…
BUT FOR NOW…THE ATTENTION IS ON THE ICE…
AND ONE LOOK AT THE T.V. RATINGS…IT WOULD APPEAR THAT IS WHERE IT IS GOING TO STAY…
AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT WEEK…OR SO…

Thursday, May 13, 2010

A Tale of Two Cities

“IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES…IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES”…
CHARLES DICKENS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HOCKEY WRITER…
BECAUSE THE MONTREAL CANADIANS AND THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS ARE INDEED…“A TALE OF TWO CITIES”…
THE CANADIANS WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE…
AFTER ALL…THE HABS STUMBLED INTO THE PLAYOFFS…LOSING THEIR LAST 3 GAMES AND 8 OF THEIR LAST 11…
THEY FINISHED IN 8TH PLACE IN THE EAST…JUST 1 POINT AHEAD OF THE NEW YORK RANGERS…AND 8 GAMES UNDER .500…
IN THE MEANTIME THE CANUCKS RAN AWAY WITH THE NORTH WEST DIVISION…
WON MORE HOME GAMES THAN ANY OTHER TEAM IN THE NHL…
AND HENRIK SEDIN TOOK HOME THE ART ROSS TROPHY…
YET IT WAS MONTREAL…THAT UPSET BOTH WASHINGTON AND PITTSBURGH…
THE SAME CAPITALS THAT WON THE PRESIDENTS TROPHY…
AND THE SAME PENGUINS THAT WERE THE DEFENDING STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS…
IN A SINGLE MONTH…MONTREAL GENERAL MANAGER BOB GAINEY HAS BECOME A GENIUS…
AND VANCOUVER GENERAL MANAGER MIKE GILLIS CAN NOT GET A TABLE AT MCDONALDS…
IT ALL MAY SEEM LIKE MADNESS…UNTIL YOU REMEMBER THE “GOLDEN RULE” OF PLAYOFF HOCKEY…
GOALTENDING IS EVERYTHING!!!
SIMPLY COMPARE THE NUMBERS BETWEEN JAROSLAV HALAK AND ROBERTO LUONGO…
HALAK’S GOALS AGAINST AVERAGE IS 2.42…
LUONGO’S WAS 3.23…
SO FAR IN THESE PLAYOFFS…HALAK HAS ALREADY FACED 450 SHOTS…96 OF THEM CAME IN GAMES 6 AND 7 AGAINST WASHINGTON…
THE HABS WON BOTH…AS HALAK GAVE UP A TOTAL OF JUST 2 GOALS…
AFTER 2 ROUNDS…THE CANADAINS HAVE BEEN OUT SHOT IN 12 OF 14 GAMES…
AND THAT INCLUDES GAME 7 LASTNIGHT IN PITTSBURGH…WHERE THE NUMBERS WERE…39-20…
COMPARE THAT TO THE 17 GOALS LUONGO SURRENDERED IN 3 HOME GAMES AGAINST THE HAWKS…
INCLUDING THE ONE TO BRENT SEABROOK…18 SECONDS INTO GAME 4…
FOR THE RECORD…HALAK MADE $800 THOUSAND THIS SEASON…
LUONGO WAS PAID $7.5 MILLION…
WHEN IT COMES THE 2010 NHL PLAYOFFS…MONTREAL AND VANCOUVER ARE CERTAINLY A TALE OF TWO CITIES…
BUT THEY ARE ALSO A TALE OF TWO GOALTENDERS…

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

HAVE WE NOT SEEN THIS MOVIE???
MAY 11TH 2009…
IT WAS EXACTLY 1 YEAR AGO TODAY…
THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS MET THE CHICAGO BLACK HAWKS IN GAME 6 OF THE WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMI-FINAL…
THE HAWKS LED THE SERIES 3 GAMES TO 2…
THANKS TO A COUPLE OF VICTORIES IN GM PLACE…
TALK ABOUT DÉJÀ VU!!!
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE FROM THIS TIME LAST YEAR…IS THE LOCATION…
A YEAR AGO…THESE TEAMS MET IN CHICAGO…
TONIGHT IT’S VANCOUVER…
BUT ONCE AGAIN…TONIGHT THE SPOTLIGHT IS CLEARLY ON ONE PLAYER…
ROBERTO LUONGO…
LAST YEAR THE HAWKS SCORED 3 GOALS IN THE LAST 7 MINUTES OF THE 3RD PERIOD TO BEAT THE CANUCKS 7-5…
7 GOALS ON 30 SHOTS…
DESPITE WINNING A GOLD MEDAL AT THE OLYMPICS…MAY 11TH 2009 IS THE PERFORMANCE THAT LUONGO HAS CARRIED WITH HIM ALL SEASON…
CANUCK OWNERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT SIMPLY WROTE IT OFF…
AND IN THE SUMMER…LUONGO WAS SIGNED TO A 12 YEAR CONTRACT WORTH…$64 MILLION DOLLARS…
THAT DEAL WILL KICK IN NEXT SEASON…
IN THE FIRST YEAR…LUONGO WILL BE PAID $10 MILLION DOLLARS…
MAKING HIM THE HIGHEST PAID PLAYER IN THE NHL…
THE DEBATE IN THIS CITY IS NOW CENTERED ON WHETHER OR NOT THE CANUCKS DID THE RIGHT THING…
THE ANSWER USUALLY DEPENDS ON WHICH DAY YOU ASK THE QUESTION…
ON SUNDAY THE ANSWER WAS “YES”…
LUONGO STOPPED 29 OF 30 SHOTS AND WAS BRILLIANT…
LAST WEEK...THE ANSWER WAS “NO”…
LUONGO SURENDERED 12 GOALS IN BACK TO BACK HOME GAMES…
WHICH GETS US TO TONIGHT…AND GAME 6…”THE SEQUEL”…
OVER THE NEXT FEW HOURS…THE SCRIPT FOR THIS MOVIE WILL BE WRITTEN…
AND WHATEVER THE ENDING…CANUCK FANS KNOW ONE THING…
IT’S GOT TO BE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL…

Monday, May 10, 2010

WHERE THERE IS LIFE…THERE IS HOPE…
LASTNIGHT IN CHICAGO THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS KEPT THEIR SEASON ALIVE…
AND AS A RESULT…THERE WILL BE A GAME 6 TOMORROW HERE IN VANCOUVER…
ON SUNDAY NIGHT THE CANUCKS DID THE 3 THINGS THAT THEY ABSOLUTELY MUST DO…

1) SCORE THE FIRST GOAL…IN 4 OF THE FIRST 5 GAMES…THE TEAM THAT SCORES FIRST HAS GONE ONTO WIN…
2) STAY OUT OF THE PENALTY BOX…IN GAME 4…THE CANUCKS…GAVE UP 4 GOALS ON 8 POWER PLAYS…LASTNIGHT THE HAWKS WENT 0 FOR 4…
3) AND FINALLY…ROBERTO LUONGO HAS TO BE A DIFFERENCE MAKER…LASTNIGHT HE GAVE UP JUST 1 GOAL ON 30 SHOTS…WHEN LUONGO IS ON HIS GAME…THIS TEAM PLAYS WITH A SENSE OF CONFIDENCE AND DISCIPLINE…TWO THINGS THAT WERE COMPLETELY MISSING IN GAMES 3 AND 4…


ADD IT UP…AND THE CANUCKS HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP IN CRAWLING OUT OF A BIG HOLE…THAT THEY HAVE DUG FOR THEMSELVES…
UNFORTUNATELY FROM HERE ON…IT’S NOT GOING TO GET ANY EASIER…
SAMI SALO IS NOT EXPECTED TO PLAY TOMORROW NIGHT…
AT THE END OF THE FIRST PERIOD…DUNCAN KEITH TOOK A SLAP SHOT…THAT HIT SALO RIGHT IN THE GROIN…
THERE WAS SOME FEAR…SALO HAD SUFFERED A RUPTURED TESTICLE AND AS A PRECAUTION HE WAS TAKEN TO A NEAR BY HOSPITAL…
THE GOOD NEWS IS…THAT WAS NOT THE CASE…
THE BAD NEWS IS…THERE’S NO WORD ON WHEN HE’LL BE READY TO PLAY AGAIN…
THE CANUCKS NOW HAVE 4 DEFENCEMEN ON THE INJURY LIST…
AND THAT HAS FORCED HEAD COACH ALAIN VIGNEAULT TO DO MORE WITH LESS…
LASTNIGHT KEVIN BIEKSA AND ALEX EDLER LOGGED OVER 27 MINUTES OF ICE TIME…
CHRISTIAN EHRHOFF HAD OVER 25 MINUTES…AND SHANE O’BRIEN…EVEN WITH A NASTY CUT TO HIS FOREHEAD…HAD OVER 19 MINUTES…
EVEN ANDREW ALBERTS SAW ADDITIONAL ICE TIME…ALMOST 11 MINUTES…
BE AFRAID…BE VERY AFRAID…
BUT RIGHT NOW THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE FOR THE CANUCKS NOW…IS GM PLACE…
WHERE THEY’VE GIVEN UP 12 GOALS IN THEIR LAST 2 GAMES…
UNLESS THAT CHANGES ON TUESDAY NIGHT…YOU CAN TURN OUT THE LIGHTS…

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dustin Byfuglien

IT’S GOOD TO BE BAD…
ESPECIALLY IF YOU PLAY IN THE NHL…
RIGHT NOW DUSTIN BYFUGLIEN COULD RUN FOR MAYOR IN CHICAGO…AND WIN…
NOT BAD FOR A GUY WHO PLAYED HIS JUNIOR HOCKEY IN PRINCE GEORGE…
BYFUGLIEN HAS NO ILLUSIONS ABOUT HIS NEW FOUND POPULARITY IN THIS PROVINCE…
AS HE PUTS IT…“THE FANS DEFINITELY HATE ME”…
IT CERTAINLY HAS CUT DOWN ON HIS SOCIAL LIFE….
BYFUGLIEN NOW ADMITTS…THIS TRIP TO VANCOUVER HAS INVOLVED LITTLE MORE THAN STAYING IN THE HOTEL AND GOING TO THE RINK…
BUT THANKS TO HIS PERFORMANCE IN GAME 3…HIS IMPACT ON THIS SERIES CAN NOT BE DENIED…
3 GOALS…6 HITS…
IN THE MEANTIME…ADAM BURRISH HAS TAKEN A VERBAL SHOT AT THE CANUCKS…
TODAY ON ESPN CHICAGO...BURRISH RIPPED ALEX BURROWS…SHANE O’BRIEN AND RYAN KESLER…
HE LABLED ALL 3 OF THEM AS...QUOTE…UNQUOTE…”CLOWNS”…
NOT BAD FOR A GUY WHO AVERAGES 5 MINUTES OF PLAYING TIME PER GAME…AND HAS YET TO REGISTER A SINGLE POINT IN THE PLAYOFFS…
ADD IT UP AND THE HAWKS ARE A TEAM THAT YOU JUST “LOVE TO HATE”…
SO IS THAT WRONG???
THINK ABOUT IT…
TAKE A LOOK AT CANUCK HISTORY…
TIGER WILLIAMS…AND GINO ODJICK ARE TWO OF THE MOST POPULAR PLAYERS TO EVER WEAR A CANUCK JERSEY…
WILLIAMS IS THE NHL’S ALL-TIME LEADER IN PENALTY MINUTES…
ODJICK IS THE CANUCK’S ALL-TIME LEADER IN PENALTY MINUTES…
AND WHEN IT COMES TO CHIPPING…
RAY FERRARO LED THE NHL IN THAT CATEGORY FOR 18 STRAIGHT YEARS…
AND THEN TURNED IT INTO A BROADCASTING CAREER…
THIS IS THE GAME…WITHIN THE GAME…
AND ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT THE CANUCKS FELL INTO THAT TRAP…AND THE HAWKS MADE THEM PAY FOR IT…
OR ED WILLIS PUT IT…IN TODAY’S PROVINCE…
“THEY KICKED IN THEIR FRONT DOOR…TOOK THEIR FAVORITE CHAIR…OPENED THEIR BEST BOTTLE OF WINE…THEN CHATTED UP THE CANUCKS’S WIFE…WHILE CONTROLLING THE REMOTE”…
TONIGHT THE MESSAGE SHOULD BE CLEAR:
”NO MORE MR. NICE GUY”
BECAUSE IN THIS GAME…YOU KNOW WHERE NICE GUYS FINISH…

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Playoff Bandwagon

IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY…YOU CAN HEAR IT…
THAT OLD FAMILAR SOUND…
THE SOUND OF CANUCK FANS JUMPING OFF THE BANDWAGON…
CANUCK FANS LIKE LEMMINGS…DO NOT HIBERNATE DURING THE WINTER…
THEY BOTH HAVE A HIGH REPODUCTIVE RATE…AND CAN BREED RAPIDLY WHEN THE ENVIROMENT IS RIGHT…
THEN EVERY SPRING…THEY BOTH DEVELOP THE UNCONTROLABLE DESIRE TO…COMMIT SUICIDE…
LEMMINGS PREFER A HIGH CLIFF…
CANUCK FANS TRADITIONALLY GO WITH A BANDWAGON…
SUCH WAS THE CASE LASTNIGHT AT GM PLACE…
THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS CRUSHED THE CANUCKS 5-2…
OR AS ED WILLIS WROTE IN THE VANCOUVER PROVINCE THIS MORNING…
THEY WERE “EMASCULATED”…
SOME CANUCK FANS WILL ARGUE…”THEY DID NOT JUMP OFF THE BANDWAGON BUT WERE INSTEAD PUSHED OFF BY DUSTIN BYFULGIEN”!!!
ALL 6 FOOT 4…257 POUNDS OF HIM…
THEY CANUCKS CAN ALSO MAKE THAT ARGUMENT…
BUT THE HARD REALITY IS THIS…
LASTNIGHT THE HAWKS PLAYED “THEIR” GAME…
AND THE CANUCKS DID NOT PLAY THEIRS…
THE RESULT WAS…
UNDISICIPLINED PENALTIES…
2 POWER PLAY GOALS FOR THE HAWKS…
AND A HAT TRICK FOR BYFULGIEN…
ALSO LASTNIGHT…THE ON ICE OFFICIALS MADE IT CLEAR…CRASHING THE CREASE…AND GOALTENDER INTERFERENCE IS NOW ALLOWED…
THE HAWKS TOOK ADVANTAGE…THE CANUCKS DID NOT…
BECAUSE OF THAT…ANTTI NIEMI LOOKED LIKE THE GOALTENDER…WITH THE NEW $64 MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT…
FRIDAY THE CANUCKS MUST FIND THEIR GAME…
AND THE SEDINS ALONG WITH MIKAEL SAMUELSSON MUST FIND THE NET…
BECAUSE HEADING BACK TO CHICAGO DOWN TO 3 GAMES TO 1…IS NOT AN OPTION…
IF THAT HAPPENS…THAT SOUND YOU NOW HEAR…WILL TURN INTO THUNDEROUS ROAR…
WHICH IS TRADITIONALLY FOLLOWED BY…5 MONTHS OF…DEAD SILENCE…

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Playoff Hockey

KEEP IT SIMPLE…STUPID…
HOCKEY…EVEN NHL PLAYOFF HOCKEY…IS NOT BRAIN SURGERY…
AND THERE IS NO MYSTERY WHY THIS SERIES BETWEEN VANCOUVER AND CHICAGO IS NOW TIED AT…A GAME A PIECE…
ON MONDAY THEY WENT 1 FOR 6 ON THE POWER PLAY…AND THEN IN 3RD PERIOD…SURRENDERED A SHORT HANDED GOAL TO PATRICK SHARP…
AND THAT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE 2 GOAL POSTS…THAT WERE HIT BY KEVIN BEIKSA AND SAMI SALO…
YOU DO NOT NEED STEPHEN HAWKING TO DO THE MATH…
HEAD COACH ALAIN VIGNEAULT PUT IT THIS WAY…
“IT WAS JUST ABOUT EXECUTION”…
SOMETHING THE CANUCKS HAVE BEEN GOOD AT ALL SEASON…
IT’S WHY HENRIK SEDIN WON THE ART ROSS TROPHY…
IT’S WHY THIS TEAM HAD THE BEST HOME RECORD IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE…
AND IT’S WHY THE CANUCKS HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COME FROM BEHIND IN THE 3RD PERIOD A TOTAL OF 13 TIMES…
THE MOST BY ANY TEAM IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
YES…IT’S ONLY NATURAL FOR FANS IN THIS CITY TO GET NERVOUS AND DRAW COMPARISONS TO THE LAST YEARS MATCH UP WITH THE HAWKS…
VANCOUVER SPLIT THE FIRST 2 GAMES AND LOST THE SERIES IN 6…
BUT HENRIK SEDIN DOES NOT BUY THAT…
IN HIS WORDS…”LAST YEAR WE GOT RATTLED ABOUT EVERYTHING”…
“THIS YEAR WE STICK TO OUR GAME PLAN”…
WHICH SETS THE STAGE FOR GAME 3…TONIGHT AT GM PLACE…
THE BIGGEST CONCERN FOR THE CANUCKS IS…HOW THEY…AND ESPECIALLY ROBERTO LUONGO…HAVE BEEN PUSHED AROUND BY THE HAWKS…
TO COUNTER THAT…TONIGHT DARCY HORDICHUK AND RYAN JOHNSON ARE EXPECTED TO THE BE IN THE LINE UP…
BUT THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN…PUSHING BACK…AND LOSING CONTROL…
THE TRUTH IS…THE HAWKS ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO TAKE PENALTIES…AND THE CANUCKS ARE GOING TO CONTINUE TO GET OPPORTUNITIES…
SO WINNING TONIGHT IS ONLY A MATTER OF…CASHING IN…
AND HOW SIMPLE IS THAT???

Monday, May 3, 2010

Roberto Luongo

LIKE THE MAN SAID…
“DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR”…
IN GAME 1...ON SATURDAY NIGHT…THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS EMBARASSED THE CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS IN THEIR OWN BUILDING…
FINAL SCORE…5-1…
THE LAST TIME THE CANUCKS WERE IN A PLAYOFF GAME IN THAT CITY…
THE HAWKS ENDED THEIR SEASON AS ROBERTO LUONGO GAVE UP 7 GOALS ON JUST 30 SHOTS…
INCLUDING 3 GOALS…IN THE LAST 7 MINUTES OF THE 3RD PERIOD…
AFTER GAME…LUONGO WAS SO UPSET…HE COULD NOT HOLD BACK THE TEARS…
AND LIKE SACK OF BRICKS…HE HAS CARRIED THAT GAME WITH HIM FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR…
NOT EVEN AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL…COULD LIFT THAT WEIGHT…
IT EXPLAINS WHY HE TOLD PATRICK KANE…DURING THE HAND SHAKE…
”WE’LL SEE YOU IN THE PLAYOFFS”…
AFTER SATURDAY NIGHTS WIN…RYAN JOHNSON…ONE OF LUONGO’S CLOSEST FRIENDS ON THE CANUCKS…TOLD THIS STORY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER LAST YEARS LOST IN GAME IN 6…
IN HIS WORDS:
‘I’LL NEVER FORGET ON THE PLANE LAST YEAR…HE CAME BACK WHERE I SIT AND HE JUST SAID “SORRY” TO ME…I JUST FELT AWFUL FOR HIM”…
FAST FORWARD TO THE FIRST PERIOD OF GAME 1…SATURDAY NIGHT…
LUONGO WAS BRILLIANT…
HE STOPPED ALL 17 SHOTS FIRED HIS WAY…AND 36 OF 37…TO GIVE THE CANUCKS A ONE GAME TO NONE LEAD IN THIS SERIES…
WHEN ASKED ABOUT…WHAT IT MEANT FOR HIMSELF PERSONALLY…TO RETURN TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME AND EXORCISE THOSE DEMONS???
LUONGO PLAYED IT SMART…QUOTE…”NOTHING”…
“IT DOESN’T MEAN NOTHING TO ME”…
“WE’RE HERE TO WIN 4 GAMES”…
“THERE’S NO SATISFACTION FOR ME PERSONALLY OR FOR THIS TEAM”…
IT’S NOT TRUE…BUT IT SOUNDS GOOD…
KEEP IN MIND…THE CANUCKS OPENED LAST YEARS SERIES WITH CHICAGO WITH A 6-3 VICTORY…AND WHO REMEMBERS THAT???
TONIGHT LUONGO CAN ONCE AGAIN SILENCE THE CROWD IN CHICAGO…
RIGHT NOW FOR THE CANUCKS…THAT IS THE “SWEETEST SOUND”…