Bad Jobs!

WE CAN NOW ADD ANOTHER ENTRY…TO THE LIST OF…
“WORST JOBS IN THE WORLD”…
“HOSTING A RADIO SPORTS TALK SHOW…IN TORONTO”…
IT’S RIGHT NEXT TO…”INJECTING STERIODS INTO THE BUTT OF A-ROD”…
IMAGINE LIVING THIS NIGHTMARE…
YOU WAKE UP EVERY MORNING…GO TO WORK…
AND SPEND YOUR ENTIRE DAY TALKING TO LOSERS…ABOUT…LOSING…
IN THAT TOWN IT ALWAYS BEGINS AND ENDS WITH…“THE LEAFS”…
WHY???
IT’S BEEN 5 YEARS SINCE THE LEAFS LAST MADE THE PLAYOFFS…
AND 42 YEARS SINCE THE LAST TIME THEY SAW THE STANLEY CUP FINALS…
THEY CURRENTLY HAVE THE “27TH WORST RECORD” IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
WHAT’S THERE TO TALK ABOUT???
THEN THERE’S THE RAPTORS…
THESE DAYS THE RAPS CAN BE FOUND IN 14TH PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE…
HELLO…TORONTO???…
THIS IS VANCOUVER CALLING…”THE GRIZZLIES HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF WINNING THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP”…
IN FLORIDA…THE BLUE JAYS ARE AT TRAINING CAMP…
LAST SEASON THE JAYS FINISHED 11 GAMES OUT…
IT’S BEEN ALMOST 2 DECADES SINCE THEY WERE IN A PLAYOFF GAME…
“LET IT GO TORONTO”…”LET IT GO”…
AND THEN THERE’S THE ARGO’S…
A TEAM THAT IN 2008 MANAGED TO WIN A GRAND TOTAL OF 4…COUNT ‘EM…4 GAMES…
TOMORROW THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS ARRIVE…ALONG WITH MATS SUNDIN…
THE SAME MATS SUNDIN…WHO DUMPED THEM IN DECEMBER…
THE FANS ARE EXPECTED TO “BOO” HIM…
THAT’S WHAT 13 YEARS BUYS YOU IN TORONTO…
NOT EVEN MIKE MYERS COULD MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE THE LEAFS COULD SOME DAY BECOME WINNERS…
HIS MOVIE “THE LOVE GURU” HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR 7 RAZZIES…
INCLUDING “WORST PICTURE OF THE YEAR”…
IN THE MEANTIME…THE PHONE BOARDS IN TORONTO ARE JAMMED…
YOU’D THINK…SOONER OR LATER…THOSE PEOPLE WOULD GET TIRED OF LOSING…
OR…AT LEAST GET TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT IT…
BUT…YOU’D BE WRONG!!!

2010

THE 2010 WINTER OLYMPICS…
THEY’RE LIKE WATCHING YOUR BRAND NEW MERCEDEZ GOING OVER A THOUSAND FOOT CLIFF…
WITH GARY BETTMAN IN THE FRONT SEAT…
THERE ARE MIXED FEELINGS…
YES…THERE IS EXCITEMENT ABOUT THE EVENT…
LIKE EXPO 86…THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE HELLUVA PARTY…
BUT JUST LIKE WAKING UP NEW YEARS DAY…YOU KNOW THERE’S GOING TO BE SOME PAIN…
THIS “HANGOVER”…WILL COST AT LEAST…$5 BILLION…
THE FACT WE WERE KEPT IN THE DARK ABOUT SUCH THINGS AS…THE SECURITY COSTS AND THE ATHLETES VILLIAGE…IS A COMPETE BETRAIL BY…LOCAL…PROVINCIAL AND FEDERAL POLITICIANS…
SHAME ON ALL OF THEM…
SHAME ON ALL OF US... FOR NOT DEMANDING BETTER…
IT’S NOT LIKE WE HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE…
IN 1976…”OLYMPIC STADIUM” IN MONTREAL COST $1 BILLION DOLLARS…
IT TOOK THE PROVINCE OF QUEBEC 30 YEARS TO PAY IT OFF…
NOBODY CAN SAY HOW MANY YEARS IT WILL TAKE “BRITISH COLUMBIA” TO CLEAR ITS’ DEBT…
HOW’S THAT FOR A LEGACY???
NEVERTHELESS…IT’S NOT ALL BAD NEWS…
THE GAMES WILL GIVE THIS PROVINCE AN ECONOMIC SHOT IN THE ARM…RIGHT AT TIME…WHEN WE NEED ONE…
THEY WILL ALSO LEAVE US WITH AN IMPROVED TRANSIT SYSTEM…AND A NEW CONVENTION CENTER…
“VANOC” HAS DONE A TREMENDOUS JOB IN GETTING THE VENUES READY...
WHICH MEANS…THE WORLD WILL SEE US IN THE BEST POSSIBLE LIGHT…
WHICH MEANS…”TOURISM” IN THIS PROVINCE WILL BENEFIT FOR YEARS TO COME…
THE RICH AND FAMOUS WILL GET THEIR SUPER HI-WAY TO WHISTLER…WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE DRIVING FORCE BEHIND THESE GAMES…
THERE WILL BE LOTS TO FEEL PROUD ABOUT…CANADA WILL “OWN THE PODIUM”…
FINALLY THE PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY WILL SEE…FIRST HAND…WHAT OUR ATHLETES ARE CAPABLE OF…WHEN THEY ARE PROPERLY FUNDED AND ALLOWED ON COMPETE ON A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD…
AND FOR HOCKEY FANS…
THE BIGGEST AND BEST TOURNAMENT…EVER…
SO…ENJOY THE GAMES…BATHE IN THEM…AND ABOVE ALL…REMEMBER TO TELL YOUR GRANDCHILDREN…
WHY NOT???
THEY’RE ONES PAYING FOR THEM…