Monday, April 13, 2009

Canucks Playoffs

THIS IS WHY WE SPEND $20 DOLLARS TO PARK OUR CAR…
$7 DOLLARS FOR A BEER…
AND A $100 DOLLARS FOR A TICKET…
THIS IS WHY WE PUT OUR PERSONAL LIFE ON HOLD…FOR HOURS…
SO WE CAN SPEND QUALITY TIME IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION…
BECAUSE…GOOD OR BAD…SPORTS IS REAL…
LET’S START WITH THE MASTERS…
IF HOLLYWOOD PRODUCES THIS EPIC…
TIGER WOODS AND PHIL MICHELSON MAKE A CHARGE ON THE BACK 9 TO SAVE THE DAY…
INSTEAD…IT COMES DOWN TO A 48 YEAR OLD MAN…
WHO…BOGIES THE LAST 2 HOLES….AND LOSES TO THE 69TH RANKED PLAYER IN THE WORLD…IN A PLAYOFF…
THERE’S A REASON HOLLYWOOD WOULD NEVER TOUCH THAT SCRIPT…
WHO THE HELL WOULD BELIEVE IT…
SO NOW…LET’S TRY AND IMAGINE…
WHAT’S NEXT FOR THE CANUCKS…
IT’S ALREADY BEEN A SEASON THAT HAS HAD MORE SURPISES…THAN THE “CRYING GAME”…
HERE’S WHAT WE KNOW…GOING INTO THE SERIES WITH ST. LOUIS…
IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE SEASON THE BLUES WERE THE WORST TEAM IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE…
IN JANUARY THE CANUCKS WERE THE WORST TEAM IN THE ENTIRE NHL…
IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE SEASON…THEY WERE TWO OF THE HOTTEST TEAMS…WITH THE TWO HOTTEST GOALTENDERS…
BOTH ENDED THEIR REGULAR SEASON…WITH A 1-0 VICTORY IN DENVER…
HOW WEIRD IS THAT???
WHAT THIS STORY NEEDS IS A HERO…
HOW ABOUT THE SEDINS???
WHO ARE ABOUT TO BECOME UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENTS…
THERE’S MATS SUNDIN…
WHO IN 13 YEARS IN TORONTO… NEVER GOT TO A STANLEY CUP FINAL…
WHAT ABOUT RYAN KESLER AND ALEX BURROWS…
WHO HAVE SUDDENLY LEARNED TO “LEAP TALL BUILDINGS WITH A SINGLE BOUND”…
AND THERE’S PAUL KARIYA…
WHO IS RETURNING HOME TO VANCOUVER…
DESPITE MISSING MOST OF THE REGULAR SEASON…KARIYA COULD BE IN THE LINE UP FOR GAME 1…
SOME HOW…SOME WAY…SOME PLAYER WILL SEIZE THE MOMENT…AND LEAD HIS TEAM INTO THE SECOND ROUND…
BUT…IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING ON THE WEEKEND…EXPECT…THE UNEXPECTED…

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Northwest Division title

SO WHAT IS A “DIVISIONAL TITLE”…REALLY WORTH???
YES THERE’S SOME PRIDE INVOLVED…FOR BOTH THE PLAYERS AND THE FANS…
HOME ICE ADVANTAGE IN THE FIRST ROUND COULD RESULT IN AN EXTRA GAME AT GM PLACE…
SO…FOR OWNER FRANCESCO AQUILLINI…THAT’S A BONUS…
BUT IN THE BIG PICTURE…
WINNING THE NORTH WEST DIVISION AND LANDING THE THIRD SEED IN THE PLAYOFFS DOES NOT GUARENTEE ANYTHING…
LAST YEAR BOTH THE WASHINGTON CAPITALS AND THE MINNESOTA WILD WON THEIR DIVISIONS AND BOTH WENT INTO THE PLAYOFFS AS THE NUMBER 3 SEED IN THEIR CONFERENCES…
IN THE FIRST ROUND…THE CAPITALS WERE BOUNCED BY PHILADELPHIA…
AND THE WILD WERE BEATEN BY COLORADO…
IN FACT…SINCE THE LOCK OUT…NOT ONE…NOT ONE…THIRD SEED HAS ADVANCED PAST THE SECOND ROUND…
ALSO LAST YEAR…THE MONTREAL CANADIANS WERE THE NUMBER 1 SEED IN THE EAST…WITH A 104 POINTS…
IN THE SECOND ROUND THE HABS MET THE FLYERS…THE NUMBER 6 SEED…
5 GAMES LATER THE CANADAINS WERE PLAYING GOLF…
EVEN WINNING THE PRESIDENT’S TROPHY…
WHICH GOES TO THE TEAM WITH THE BEST RECORD IN THE REGULAR SEASON…
DOES NOT INSURE SUCCESS IN THE PLAYOFFS…
SINCE 1986…ONLY 7 TEAMS HAVE WON THAT TROPHY AND GONE ONTO WIN THE STANLEY CUP…
NO!!!WHAT TRULY MATTERS AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR ARE THREE THINGS…
THE FIRST…AND MOST IMPORTANT IS…HEALTH…
THE SECOND IS…GOALTENDING…
AND THE THIRD IS THE OVER ALL PLAY OF THE TEAM…
UP UNTIL LAST WEEK THE CANUCKS WERE THREE FOR THREE…
THAT WAS UNTIL THEY LOST 3 STRAIGHT…AND ROBERTO LUONGO LET IN 13 GOALS…
IN HOCKEY…AS IN LIFE…SUCCESS COMES FROM WORKING ON THOSE THINGS IN YOUR CONTROL…
WHAT THE CANUCKS REALLY NEED TONIGHT…IS TO FIND THEIR GAME…
FOR THE RECORD…
IN THE 40 YEARS…THE CANUCKS HAVE WON 5 DIVISION TITLES…
DO YOU REMEMBER WHERE YOU WERE…FOR ANY OF THEM???

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Win and You're in

WIN AND YOU’RE IN…
IT’S THAT SIMPLE FOR THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS…
THEY ARE NOW JUST ONE VICTORY AWAY FROM CLINCHING A PLAYOFF SPOT…
MUSIC TO THE EARS TO THE FANS WHO HAVE SUFFERED SO MUCH…
IN THE LAST 15 YEARS THE CANUCKS HAVE MISSED THE PLAYOFFS 6 TIMES…
INCLUDING 2 OF THE LAST 3 SEASONS…
AND IN THE 7 SEASONS THEY DID QUALIFY…THEY WERE BOUNCED IN THE FIRST ROUND…4 TIMES…
AND BOUNCED IN THE SECOND ROUND…3 TIMES…
OH…AND THERE’S THE LOCKOUT THAT WIPED OUT AN ENTIRE SEASON…
SO IT’S EASY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THERE IS SO MUCH EXCITEMENT IN THIS CITY…
THE CANUCKS ARE IN FIRST PLACE IN THE NORTH WEST DIVISION…
THEY HAVE WON 11 STRAIGHT AT HOME…
ROBERTO LUONGO IS NOW BEING CONSIDERED FOR THE VEZINA…
HEAD COACH ALAIN VIGNEAULT FOR THE JACK ADAMS…
AND ALEX BURROWS FOR TEAM CANADA…
BUT TODAY THE CANUCKS MAY HAVE RECEIVED THE ULTIMATE COMPLIMENT…
PIERRE LEBRUN OF HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA HAS APOLOGIZED TO THE TEAM…
THREE WEEKS AGO LUBRUN WAS DOING AN INTERVIEW WITH ROBERTO LUONGO WHEN SUGGEST THE CANUCKS WERE A “DARK HORSE” IN THE WEST…
HE PLACED THEM BEHIND…SAN JOSE…DETROIT…CALGARY AND CHICAGO…
LUONGO WAS NOT HAPPY…
HE RE-ACTED WITH THIS STATEMENT…”WE KNOW WE CAN COMPETE AND GIVE THESE GUYS A RUN FOR THEIR MONEY”…
TODAY LEBRUN WROTE IN HIS COLUMN FOR ESPN…QUOTE…
“MR LUONGO WE OWE YOU AN APOLOGY”…
IT TAKES A LOT GUTS FOR A MAN TO KNOW WHEN HE’S WRONG…AND EVEN MORE TO ADMITT IT…
5 MONTHS AGO…DON TAYLOR PREDICTED THE CANUCKS WOULD NOT EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS…
FOR 76 GAMES TAYLOR HAS REFUSED TO BACK DOWN…
SO TODAY…THERE ARE TWO QUESTIONS THAT NEED TO BE ANSWERED…
THE FIRST IS…
WILL DON TAYLOR FINALLY ADMITT HE WAS WRONG AND APOLOGIZE???
AND THE SECOND IS…
DO YOU…THE CANUCK NATION…WANT HIM BACK???

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Roberto Luongo

REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MOTHER TOLD YOU…
“HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY”…
REMEMBER THAT???
TROUBLE IS…MOM NEVER PLAYED FOR THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS…
IF SHE HAD…SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU…
”NEVER TELL ANYBODY WHAT YOU’ REALLY THINK!!!”…
ON SATURDAY NIGHT ROBERTO LUONGO APPEARED ON HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA AS PART OF “AFTER HOURS”…
KEEP IN MIND…
THIS WAS JUST MINUTES AFTER THE CANUCKS HAD BEEN EMBARASSED 5-1 BY PHOENIX…
LUONGO WAS ASKED ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT HE PLANS TO SIGN AN EXTENTION WITH THE CANUCKS AFTER THIS SEASON…
THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE…
“I WANT TO WIN THE CUP…AND WHICHEVER TEAM IS GOING TO GIVE ME THE BEST CHANCE TO DO THAT…IS THE TEAM I WANT TO BE WITH”…
BIG MISTAKE…
LUONGO COULD HAVE RUN OVER SANTA CLAUS…ON CHRISTMAS EVE…AND BE FORGIVEN…
BUT TO SUGGEST…EVEN AFTER A VERY EMBARASSING LOSS…THAT THE ANSWER IS…”MOVING TO ANOTHER TEAM”…
WELL…IN THIS TOWN…THAT IS CAUSE TO BE LABLED A “HERITIC” AND TO BE EXCOMMUNICATED…
HE IS CERTINLY NOT THE FIRST CANUCK “STAR”…TO SPEAK IN THOSE TREASONIST TERMS…
THAT LIST INCLUDES BOTH PAVEL BURE AND MARKUS NASLUND…
AND AS YOU KNOW…BOTH WERE “CAST OUT” BY VANCOUVER HOCKEY FANS…
LET’S BE CLEAR…
LUONGO’S FUTURE IN THIS CITY WILL BE DECIDED BY ONE THING…AND ONE THING ONLY…
HIS PEFORMANCE THIS SPRING…PERIOD!!!
IN THE NEW NHL…THERE HAS BEEN NOT BEEN A SINGLE TEAM…ADVANCE TO THE STANLEY CUP FINAL…WITH A $7 MILLION DOLLAR GOALTENDER…
OR $6 MILLION…OR $5 MILLION…OR EVEN $4 MILLION…
IF INDEED THE PRIORITY IS TO WIN A CUP…
THEN THE CANUCKS WILL NEED ALL THE CAP SALARY THEY CAN FIND…
SO…PERHAPS ROBERTO LUONGO SHOULD NOT BE ASKING…
“WHAT CAN THE CANUCKS CAN DO FOR “ME”???”
BUT RATHER…”WHAT “I” CAN DO FOR THE CANUCKS???”
YOU KNOW…MOM WOULD LIKE THAT…

Friday, March 13, 2009

Martin Brodeur

EVEN STEVEN SPIELBERG COULD NOT WRITE AND DIRECT THIS MOVIE…
ON SATURDAY IN MONTREAL…ON HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA…
IN A SEASON THE CANADIANS ARE CELEBRATING THEIR 100TH BIRTHDAY…
MARTIN BRODEUR WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CATCH PATRICK ROY…FOR MOST WINS…ALL TIME…BY A GOALTENDER…
THE MAGIC NUMBER IS 551…
BRODEUR WAS BORN AND RAISED IN MONTREAL…
HE WAS 12 YEARS OLD WHEN ROY BROKE INTO THE NHL AND LED THE CANADAIANS TO THE FIRST OF TWO STANLEY CUPS…
EVEN HOLLYWOOD DOES NOT MAKE A HEROS THAT BIG…
IN HIS CAREER BRODEUR HAS TRADITIONALLY SAVED HIS BEST FOR THE HABS…
HE HAS 34 VICTORIES AGAINST THEM…MORE THAN ANY OTHER NON-DIVISIONAL TEAM…
8 TIMES HE HAS SHUTOUT THE CANADAINS…
AND HIS GOALS AGAINST AVERAGE AGAINST THE HABS IS 1.80…
THE BEST AGAINST ANY TEAM IN THE NHL…
THE DEBATE NOW IS…
WHO’S THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME…BRODEUR OR ROY???
HERE’S WHAT THE NUMBERS SAY…
BRODEUR HAS 3 STANLEY CUPS…1 OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL…4 VEZINA TROPHYS…
ROY HAS 4 STANLEY CUPS…3 VEZINA TROPHYS AND 3 CONN SMYTHE TROPHS…
BRODEUR CAREER GOALS AGAINST AVERAGE IS AN AMAZING 2.20…
ROY’S IS 2.54…
BRODEUR HAS 100 SHUTOUTS…
ROY HAS 66…
ACCORDING TO THE NUMBERS…BRODEUR IS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME…
BUT YOU CAN CERTAINLY MAKE AN ARGUMENT FOR ROY…
IN THE 93 STANLEY CUP PLAYOFFS ROY DELIVERED…WHAT MAY BE…THE GREATEST PERFORMANCE BY ANY GOALTENDER IN HISTORY…
HE WON 10 STRAIGHT OVERTIME PLAYOFF GAMES TO LEAD THE CANADAINS TO THE STANLEY CUP…
THAT SPRING BRODEUR WAS JUST 21 YEARS OLD AND HAD PLAYED A MERE “4” GAMES IN THE NHL…
TOMORROW NIGHT…ROY WILL BE AT THE GAME ON TO HONOR HIM…
ALL BRODEUR HAS TO DO NOW…IS SUPPLY A HAPPY ENDING…
THAT…AND OF COURSE…FIND ENOUGH TICKETS FOR ALL HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY…

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The way we were

“MISTY WATERCOLOR MEMORIES”…
THAT’S ALL THAT’S LEFT OF THE ONCE MIGHTY…ANAHEIM DUCKS…
LESS THAN 2 YEARS AGO THESE DUCKS WERE STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS…
THE NEIDERMAYER BROTHERS CELEBRATED ON THE TOP OF A MOUNTAIN…
BRIAN BURKE…SMILED…
IT WAS PERFECT…
NO…IT WAS BETTER THAN PERFECT…
“CAN IT BE…THAT IT WAS ALL SO SIMPLE THEN???”
APPRENTLY SO…
FIRST DUSTIN PENNER SIGNED WITH EDMONTON…
BURKE RE-ACTED BY GETTING INTO A “PISSING CONTEST” WITH EDMONTON GENERAL MANAGER KEVIN LOWE…
BURKE CALLED LOWE…”CLASSLESS AND GUTLESS”…LOWE CALLED BURKE…”A MORON”…
“IF WE HAD THE CHANCE TO DO IT ALL AGAIN…TELL ME…WOULD WE???”…
LATER THAT SUMMER… BURKE SIGNED TODD BERTUZZI AND MATHIEU SCHNEIDER TO CONTRACTS WORTH A COMBINED…$10 MILLION A SEASON…
TO FIND ROOM UNDER THE SALARY CAP…THE DUCKS WERE FORCED TO GIVE AWAY ANDY MCDONALD…
LAST SUMMER OWNER HENRY SAMUELI WAS SUSPENDED BY THE NHL FOR LYING TO THE U.S. SECURITIES AND EXCHANGE COMMISSION…
SAMUELI IS NOW FACING 5 YEARS IN PRISON…
“WHAT’S TOO PAINFULL TO REMEMBER…WE SIMPLY CHOOSE TO FORGET”…
IN NOVEMBER…BURKE JUMPED SHIP AND SIGNED A NEW DEAL IN TORONTO…
HE LEFT BEHIND A MESS…
SERIOUS CAP PROBLEMS AND 13 PLAYERS ABOUT TO BECOME “UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENTS”…
AT THE TRADING DEADLINE THE DUCKS HAD NO OPTION BUT TO CLEAN HOUSE…
CHRIS KUNITZ WENT TO PITTSBURGH…
SAMUEL PAHLSSON WENT TO CHICAGO…
TRAVIS MOEN WENT TO SAN JOSE…
AND BRENDAN MORRISON WENT TO DALLAS…
THE DUCKS ARE NOW IN 12TH PLACE IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE…
AND…THIS SUMMER THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE SOME VERY TOUGH DECISIONS ON BOTH…CHRIS PRONGER AND SCOTT NEIDERMAYER…
THESE DAYS HOCKEY FANS IN ANAHEIM HAVE ONLY THING THAT CAN EASE THE PAIN…
“HIT IT BARBRA”…

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sports Media

FIRST…LET US BE CRYSTAL CLEAR ABOUT ONE THING…
IT IS THE BIRTH RIGHT OF EVERY HOCKEY FAN…IN EVERY NHL CITY…TO QUESTION…OUT LOUD…HOW THE GENERAL MANAGER OF THEIR TEAM IS RUNNING THE SHOW…
SECONDLY…IT IS THE BIRTH RIGHT OF EVERY MEMBER OF THE “SPORT MEDIA” TO DO THE EXACT SAME THING…
BUT THERE ARE LIMITS…
THE GOLDEN RULE IS THIS…
“YOU CAN NOT BOO A HOME RUN”…
SATURDAY NIGHT THE CANUCKS HIT A GRAND SLAM WHEN THEY BEAT SAN JOSE 3-1…
THEY’VE NOW WON 4 IN A ROW AND 12 OF THEIR LAST 14…
THE CANUCKS NOW FIND THEMSELVES JUST 8 POINTS BACK OF CALGARY WITH TWO GAMES IN HAND…
STARTING TONIGHT IN LOS ANGELES…16 OF THEIR LAST 18 GAMES…ARE AGAINST TEAMS BELOW THEM IN THE STANDINGS…
ADD IT ALL UP AND…THE CANUCKS HAVE A LIGITMATE SHOT TO WIN THE NORTH WEST DIVISION…
SO TRY AND IMAGINE THE RE-ACTION THIS MORNING FROM GENERAL MANAGER MIKE GILLIS WHEN HE PICKED UP THE VANCOUVER PROVINCE AND READ THE COLUMN BY ED WILLIS…
WILLIS RIPPED INTO GILLIS FOR NOT DOING SOMETHING AT THE TRADING DEADLINE…
THE ARGUMENT WAS THIS…
THERE ARE 6 FRONT LINE PLAYERS…WHO ARE PLAYING MILES BELOW THEIR MARKET VALUE…
TO WHICH WILLIS POSED THE QUESTION…
“IF NOT THIS SEASON…WHEN?”
THE ARTICLE CONCLUDED THAT MIKE GILLIS HAS WASTED…A “GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY” FOR THE CANUCKS TO WIN A STANLEY CUP…
“THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH”…
COME ON EDDIE…LET’S FORM A HALF CRAZED MOB…AND BURN “GILLIS” IN EFFIGY…
THE TRUTH OF MATTER IS THIS…
OVER THE LAST 40 YEARS PEOPLE IN THIS CITY HAVE BEEN CONDITIONED TO EXPECT THE WORST…AND RARELY HAVE WE BEEN SURPRISED…
BUT…MAYBE…JUST MAYBE…GILLIS KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING…
MAYBE…JUST MAYBE…THE CANUCKS ARE FOR REAL…
AND MAYBE…JUST MAYBE…WE SHOULD SIT BACK AND ENJOY THIS RIDE…
HEY…WORST CASE SENARIO???
WE WILL STILL HAVE ALL THE SUMMER TO QUESTION…”OUT LOUD”…HOW GENERAL MANAGER MIKE GILLIS IS RUNNING THIS SHOW…