Thursday, October 8, 2009

Canuck Fans

CANUCK FANS HAVE BEEN SLAGGED…RIPPED…DISSED…AND SLAPPED IN THE FACE…
AND THE WORST PART OF ALL THIS…MAYBE…WE DESERVE IT…
THE SOURCE IS A DAVID BREITMAN…
A CANADIAN…WHO WENT TO THE UNIVERSITY OF VICTORIA…AND IS NOW WORKING IN LOS ANGELES FOR SPIKE T.V…
BREITMAN HAS NOW ISSUED HIS LIST OF:
”THE 10 TEAMS WITH THE MOST ANNOYING FANS”…
COMING IN AT NUMBER 5 IS…THE VANCOUVER CANUCKS…
HE CALLS THEIR FANS “ARROGANT”…AND “SCUMBAGS”
DESCRIBES THEM AS PEOPLE WHO SPEND THEIR DAYS…
1) DEMANDING TRADES ON LOCAL RADIO SHOWS…
2) REMINICING ABOUT THE YEAR THEY ALMOST SIGNED WAYNE GRETZKY…AND…
3) PREACHING ABOUT HOW HOSTING JAROME IGINLA AND THE CANADIAN OLYMPIC TEAM WILL FINALLY ESTABLISH THEIR CITY AS A GENUINE HOCKEY TOWN…
HE REFERS TO THE SEDINS AS…”HOMO-EROTIC SWEDISH TWINS…THAT SEEM PHYSICALLY AFRAID OF THE PLAYOFFS”…
HOLD ON…THEM ARE FIGHTIN’ WORDS…
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE…
BREITMAN HAS GONE SO FAR AS TO OFFER UP A WAY TO DETERMINE WHO IS…AND WHO IS NOT…A CANUCK FAN…
CHECK THIS OUT…
“NEXT TIME YOU SEE A SUSPECTED PYRAMID SCHEMER…IN THE CORNER OF A TRENDY WINE BAR…SPORTING A $200 DOLLAR HAIR CUT AND $900 DOLLAR SUIT…GO AHEAD AND ASK HIM ABOUT KEVIN BIEKSA…
ODDS ARE HE’S A VANCOUVER CANUCKS FAN”…
UNFORTUNATELY….BREITMAN HAS A POINT…
CANUCK FANS REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO JUSTIFY THEIR SUPPORT…
THERE ARE NO STANLEY CUP BANNERS IN THE RAFTERS OF GM PLACE…
IN 40 YEARS…THERE’S NOT ONE PLAYER IN THE HOCKEY HALL OF FAME…
AND THEN THERE’S “RICHARD BEACH”…THE CANUCK FAN…WHO CANCELLED HIS CABLE LAST SEASON WHEN THE CANUCKS LOST IN SAN JOSE…
HOW DO YOU ARGUE THAT???
WELL AT LEAST WE CAN TAKE SOME COMFORT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT THE CANUCKS DO NOT HAVE “THE” WORST FANS…
THAT TITLE BELONGS TO THE CHICAGO CUBS…
WHO HAVE NOT WON A CHAMPIONSHIP IN 101 YEARS…
HELL IT’S ONLY BEEN…94 YEARS FOR HOCKEY FANS IN THIS CITY…

3 comments:

The Mystery Fan said...

Dave, you only know me from one heart felt rant. I'm not the $200 haircut guy and neither are you. We're watching the Canucks at the Byrd pub on a Saturday night. Well, maybe you are, but you know what I mean.
A couple of things are being attributed to me that are just not true. I would like the opportunity to set the record straight. Especially about Breitman who's article was partly inspired by me. I would like to address this on air tomorrow.
Richard "The Mystery Fan" Beech

Richard The Ex-Canuck's Fan said...
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Richard The Ex-Canuck's Fan said...
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