The Leafs

WHO IS CLARKE MACARTHUR AND WHY SHOULD WE CARE???
FIRST THINGS FIRST…
MACARTHUR IS A 25 YEAR OLD…FORMER THIRD ROUND DRAFT PICK…WHO SCORED 16 GOALS LAST SEASON FOR BOTH THE BUFFALO SABRES AND THE ATLANTA THRASHERS…
THE THRASHERS WERE SO UNIMPRESSED…THEY WALKED AWAY FROM A ONE YEAR…$2.4 MILLION ARBITRATION AWARD…
AS A RESULT….THIS SUMMER THE BEST MACARTHUR COULD DO WAS TO TAKE A ONE YEAR DEAL FROM THE TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS FOR A MERE $1.1 MILLION…
HOWEVER LASTNIGHT IN PITTSBURGH…MACARTHUR SCORED 2 GOALS AS THE LEAFS UPSET THE PENGUINS 4-3…
BECAUSE OF THAT…HE NOW LEADS THE NHL IN GOALS AND TORONTO HAS A PEFRECT RECORD OF 3 AND 0…
WHICH GETS US TO THE BIGGER QUESTION…WHY SHOULD WE CARE???
HERE’S WHY:
ANYTHING THAT IS GOOD FOR TORONTO…IS ALWAYS BAD FOR THE REST OF THE COUNTRY…
SADLY WE DO NOT HAVE “NATIONAL MEDIA”…
AND BECAUSE OF THAT WE ARE FORCED TO DINE ON A CONSTANT DIET OF…”TORONTO…TORONTO…TORONTO”…
IT’S WHY THE LEAFS ARE ON “HOCKEY NIGHT IN CANADA” EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT…
THIS…DESPITE THE FACT THIS FRANCHISE HAS NOT MADE THE PLAYOFFS IN 6 YEARS…HAS NOT BEEN TO A CUP FINAL IN 43 YEARS…
THE LAST LEAF TO WIN HART TROHPY WAS TED KENNEDY IN 1955…AND NO LEAF HAS EVER WON THE ART ROSS…
BUT THIS SEASON THE LEAFS HAVE WON THEIR FIRST 3 GAMES…
SO IF A SPACE ALIEN LANDED TODAY IN CANADA…HE OR SHE WOULD BE SAFE TO ASSUME…THERE IS ONLY ONE NHL TEAM IN THIS COUNTRY…
WHAT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT TO DIGEST…IS THE REACTION BY GENERAL MANAGER BRIAN BURKE…
AFTER LASTNIGHT GAME…BURKE REFERED TO HIS TEAMS START AS…”HUGE”…AND…”A MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT”…
GRANTED…BY COMPARISON TO THE 1 WIN THE LEAFS MANAGED IN THEIR FIRST 13 GAMES LAST SEASON…BURKE CERTAINLY HAS REASON TO FEEL RELIVED…
BUT TO USE WORDS SUCH AS “HUGE” AND “MAJOR” AND TO HAVE THAT NONSENSE GO UNCHALLENGED IS COMICAL…
UNFORTUNATELY…UNTIL THINGS GET BACK TO NORMAL…
GET USED TO HEARING THE NAME…”CLARKE MACARTHUR”…